Children Running

Addressing Teen Mental Health Challenges

Toolkit Tailored for You

You’ve been feeling “off” for some time now – thinking and feeling differently than you usually do, and not in a good way.
It may be time to ask for help when your difficulties with feelings, emotions, thoughts or behaviors:
  • Are too intense or cause distress
  • Last more than two weeks
  • Get in the way of daily life, causing difficulties sleeping, eating, concentrating, working, enjoying things or relating to others
  • Keep you away from your friendships
  • Come with other problems, like alcohol or drug abuse, thoughts of hurting yourself, or aggressive behavior
  • Lead you to risky behavior and decisions
It is important to remember that you are not alone. You have a community of people that may be trusted to help you through difficult times. Everyone’s community looks different, but generally parents, guardians, counselors, teachers, doctors, friends and other trusted adults can keep you safe and guide you toward support. If you are interested in therapy or other clinical services, please see the “Accessing Mental Health Services” section.

Help From a Parent/Trusted Adult

It is normal to feel uncertain or worried about sharing something that is personal and emotional with a loved one, especially a parent. It is also important to share that you may be experiencing mental health challenges with your parent/trusted adult so that they know what you are going through and can help you through it.

Follow these tips to get the conversation started:

Plan what you want to share: Think about how you will explain what you are experiencing. Provide 1-2 detailed examples of what you are feeling to help them understand where you’re coming from. Jot down 1-2 ways that you would like them to support you in overcoming this mental health challenge.
Find a private space to talk: Find a place and a time when you can have some privacy, away from other family members or distractions. Sometimes it helps to get out of the house and go for a walk or go to the park. If you have your phone with you, silence it or place it on vibrate to eliminate distractions during the conversation so that you can focus.
Explain as clearly as you can: Use your notes. Be clear and specific about what you are experiencing and how you are feeling. Give your parent/trusted adult the space to ask questions. If at any point you start to feel overwhelmed or anxious, ask to pause the conversation for a minute or two, take some deep breaths and collect your thoughts, then resume. Don’t let your emotions get in the way of you expressing what you are experiencing, and do not give up and walk away from the conversation; you can do it.
Share possible next steps: If you have some ideas about how they can help you, this is the time to bring them up. If you do not, that is ok! How about sharing the Mental Health Toolkit for Parents of Teens with them? It’s full of mental health information, tips, activities you can do together and resources to support you.
Keep the conversation going: Keeping the line of communication open is just as important as taking that first step to have a conversation. Although it is ok to have boundaries, welcome your parent/trusted adult to follow up with you and likewise make sure that you keep them up to date with how you are feeling, including what’s helping or might be making things worse, and what additional help you may like to have, etc.

It may be that your feelings are not fully understood by your parents. While this can be disappointing, it is important to remember that this is a common situation and not a dead end, just a bump in the road! Sometimes it’s difficult for people who have never experienced - or recognized that they have experienced- mental health challenges of their own, to be supportive, even to their own kids. Sometimes parents are unclear about how to best address their child’s mental health challenges because it is the first time they are being exposed to this situation.

Parents may…

  • Feel guilty or blame themselves for what you’re experiencing
  • Be worried about the cost of professional help
  • Have distrust of mental health care clinicians
  • Believe that emotional or mental health problems should be dealt with privately, and that they can be “fixed” through trying harder or prayer instead of professional treatment

Here are some steps you may want to take if your parents are not being as supportive at this time:

Explain the steps you’ve taken so far: Let them know about what you have done to manage this on your own, such as, self-care techniques, breathing exercises or sharing with a friend or loved one. Ask if they’d be open to identify more ways to help you.
Let them know about resources and affordable options: It can be helpful to take a bit of time to research some mental health care options that you think may be a good fit for you and bring it to the conversation. This may include talking with a school counselor, scheduling an appointment with your current medical provider, or activities that you may be able to do together that will support your resiliency. See the Accessing Mental Health Services section.
Talk to another trusted adult: Is there someone else in your family (i.e., sibling, grandparent, aunt) who you think might be more understanding of how you’re feeling? Is there a close family friend, faith leader, or trusted teacher that you could meet with? Think about your support system that you made earlier in the toolkit and add on people other than your parent(s) that may be willing to lend an ear.

Help From a Friend

If you are struggling to reach out to trusted adults, friends can be your allies in helping you get the care you need and deserve. Sometimes just having someone to talk to can lessen stressful feelings that you may be experiencing.

Follow these tips to get the conversation started:

Identify who you want to talk to: Who do you feel most comfortable talking to among your circle of friends or support system? Think about who is reliable and respectful of your thoughts, feelings, and time.
Plan what you want to share: Think about how you will explain what you are experiencing. Provide 1-2 examples of what you are feeling, this can help them understand where you’re coming from. Jot down 1-2 ways that they may be able to support you in overcoming this mental health challenge. Writing down notes while you prepare can be helpful in making sure that you don’t forget what you wanted to share with them even if emotions are running high.
Determine level of privacy: If you want something to be kept in confidential, make it very clear. However, it is important to trust your friend’s judgement when it comes to your safety and if/when it may be best for them to seek an adult for further help.
Pick a time and place: Find a place and a time when you can talk, away from distractions. Sometimes it helps to go for a walk or go to the park. Keep your phones on silent.
Explain as clearly as you can: This is where your notes can come in handy! Do your best to be clear and specific about what you are experiencing and how you are feeling. Give your friends the space to ask questions. If at any point you start to feel overwhelmed or anxious, ask to pause the conversation for a minute or two, take some deep breaths and collect your thoughts, then resume. Be confident in what you are saying – you are doing the right thing and it is important to be clear and not walk away from the conversation. Hold on tight to the idea that your friend is on your side and wants to support your health and happiness. See examples of how to do so here.

Help From School

Most schools are equipped with counselors to offer mental health guidance and resources. Ask to schedule an appointment by contacting your school’s mental health services or via a trusted teacher or school staff member.