Intimate Partner Violence is "abuse", a pattern of behaviors that can be not only physically damaging but also emotionally damaging and used to control a partner in a relationship. "Abuse" is NOT the result of one person becoming angry and "loosing control", rather "abuse" is a way that a person uses threats, intimidation, and manipulation to gain control over a partner. Abusive relationships are based on power and control, where healthy relationships are based on equality.

Do you ever wonder if your relationship is abusive? Read the following and ask yourself if your partner does any of the following:

Tells you that you are too sensitive? Blames you for their problems or abusive behavior? Ignores your feelings? Ridicules, insults, or puts you down, then tell you its a joke, or that you are take things too personally? Rolls their eyes when you talk? Gives you a hard time about socializing with friends or family? Threatens to leave you? Gives you the silent treatment? Humiliates you privately or in public? Seems to stir up trouble just when you seem to be getting closer to each other? Expects that sex should be provided on demand regardless of how you feel? Threatens to hurt you or your family?

Acts immature and selfish, yet accuse you of those behaviors? Compliments you enough to keep you happy, yet criticize you enough to keep you insecure? Presents themselves as a wonderful person to the world and is well liked by outsiders, but opposite when you are both alone? Complains about how badly you treat him or her? Makes you socialize when they want you too, even when you don't feel well? Criticizes you, calls you names, or yells at you? Walks away without answering you? Seems to be energized by fighting, while fighting exhausts you? "Twists" your words around so that what you turns against you? Tries to control decisions, money, even the way you style your hair or wear your clothes? Destroys the furniture, punch holes in walls, break appliances?

If any of these behaviors are taking place in your relationship, contact your local domestic violence organization or a counselor in your area to learn how to keep yourself safe and in a healthy relationship at 1-800-978-3600.

Intimate Partner Violence Home
For more information please call (213) 351-7888